….to New Years Resolutions. Resist the temptation. There is something contagious about setting them, becuase even I (who am adamently opposed to the tradition) start to create a mental resolution list after the 5th email that I receive on “Top Resolutions” or “Tips for setting resolutions.” Especially when I run across ones with items like “give yourself permission to be human” and “get the rest you need” (WebMD ) — because those sound like GOOD resolutions. Still, don’t do it!
Why am I so opposed? Well, to name a few…
- One in four resolutions bites the dust within a week – Steve Levinson, co-author of the book Following Through.
- Half of all resolutions are gone within a month — Levinson
- Overall, 75% of people who make resolutions fail on their first try — Miller and Marlatt (1998)
- More than 50% of all New Year’s goals involve eating better, exercising, or losing weight. So, statistically speaking… one of your goals would be, too.
Just being a new year is not enough motivation to keep you working toward meeting these goals for very long. You are looking for that magic time to make a change — so why not New Years? Well, there is no magic time, as most peope re-realize in mid-January. It’s easy to promise yourself to change something when everyone around you is also making resolutions… but when that energy dies in a couple of weeks, suddenly making these changes seems a lot less appealing.
I should clarify that I am all for goals. I just don’t like goals that are made on December 31st. Additionally, I think that there is a fundamental difference between “goals” and “resolutions.”
Resolution – a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner. From the word “resolute,” meaning firm, unyielding, determined.
Goal – a projected state of affairs which a person or a system plans or intends to achieve or bring about — a personal or organizational desired end-point in some sort of assumed development. (Wikipedia )
Resolutions are inflexible and “unyielding.” They don’t allow any room for re-assessing your goals and expectations. Things are going to change in the next YEAR. Maybe you resolve to start running (this one comes to mind since it is one of my mother’s New Years resolutions). But… what if you twist your ankle or decide that you hate running? Time to revise that goal… maybe you could switch to swimming? Or, the opposite — let’s say that you resolve to quit smoking, and you actually do. Cold turkey. July comes and you haven’t smoked in 6 – 7 months. Resolution complete! …so, now what? No goals for the rest of the year?
You need to have short term and long term goals… but they need to be flexible. Things change in life — who knows what the next year will bring. Personally, I do better with weekly goals because they are something that I renew each week. There are a couple of things that seem to be permanent fixtures on my short-term goal lists. For example, there’s “eat enough protein.” I usually DO eat enough protein… but it’s something that I still work on and that needs to stay on the list week after week. And then there’s “take calcium supplement,” which I have a horrible habit of NOT doing, so it definitely needs to stay on the list. However, items like “eat a fear food,” “get 8 hours of sleep,” and “talk to fiance about _____” come and go.
So, to get back to my original point – don’t make a New Years resolution! Make a list of short & long term goals if you want (although I would recommend waiting a week or two as to not be caught up in the resolution-ness). You can use the tips from all 100 emails that you’ll receive about setting resolutions — make them specific, make them reasonable, etc. Just remember… the start of the new year is not magical. January 1st is just another day (albeit a holiday, which does make it a little special).
Grey Thinking 