Puppies, Prozac and Carl Rogers

I was doing some Christmas shopping online at Amazon this morning (free shipping AND free gift wrapping? I’m sold.) and I ran across this book: “Puppy Chow is Better Than Prozac”

I’ve read plenty of books on the healing power of pets (and I completely believe in pet therapy) but never a book on pets and Bipolar disorder. Now I haven’t purchased this yet (I assure you that it IS in my shopping cart, though), so I can’t review the book… but it did get me thinking about pets and recovery.

I remember two girls who were inpatient with me getting puppies as soon as they were discharged. At the time I was thinking,

1. Was this some kind of reward for completing treatment?
2. Are the puppies supposed to keep the girls happy & therefore less likely to relapse (some kind of logic that family/friends would use)
3. Or, were their families planning on getting dogs, anyway?

Or… maybe I was just jealous and trying to invent a way to convince my parents to get a puppy.

Anyway, after my junior year in college I decided to get a puppy. My roommates were gone for the summer, my boyfriend was a resident and scheduled to work in the ICU for the next three months, and my summer internship only was only in the mornings. So, for all of these reasons (maybe I should also mention that I was supposed to be studying for the MCAT and thought a pet would be a good study buddy — ha!), I decided to get a puppy. While I thought just having the companionship would be helpful, there were a couple of other things that hit me after a couple of weeks with him:

1. He needed to eat & go outside every couple of hours (he’s a yorkie and you have to be careful of hypoglycemia when they are little). This means I had to stop what I was doing every couple of hours and feed/walk him. At the time I was often, “too busy to sit down and eat,” so this was a bit of an unanticipated shock. It was important to stop and take care of him. What does that mean re: making time to take care of myself?
2. I am his mom (well, you know what I mean). No one else in the world is going to take care of him. I am the only one that he has to rely on. If he’s hungry, lonely, tired, whatever–I am the only one who knows that. This little tiny puppy is trusting me to take care of him. He NEEDS me. I am needed!
3. He loves me unconditionally. I don’t have to be afraid of screwing up the relationship — which is good, because I can’t run away from it if I do think I’ve ruined it. He doesn’t care about my weight, my job, my reputation, etc. He loves me because I am me, and just wants me to be there.

I know these are all such basic ideas, but everyday life and relationships with others can be so complicated. I had all of these excuses for each of these points…

“Taking care of myself is not important to the rest of the world — it’s not an excuse for not living up to expectations.”

“I am replaceable — No one really needs ME.”

“I am not enough and I ask for too much… there is always the risk that I could ask for something that I don’t deserve, and then I will wreck the relationship.”

So, in summary: What is it about the relationship with my dog that helps me question my distorted beliefs? Well maybe it’s positive regard. Really, this whole relationship seems a little Carl Rogers to me. The incongruence between the “real self” (who I genuinely am) and “ideal self” (who I think I should be) which is the result of my quest for positive regard. My construction of inadequate defense mechanisms in an attempt to feel less threatened or vulnerable. The ensuing neuroses 🙂

If only I had realized earlier that a PET would give me positive regard and allow me to realize my genuine, authentic self!

Excusing some of the sarcasm in that last statement, I do think that there is something to be said for positive regard and the unconditional love that you get from your pet.

A different definition of “normal”

While it may have just been a “thought experiment,” it was great to read this post from Laura Collins. As I mentioned in my Dr. Drew entry, I think that eating disorder recovery and long-term maintenance needs to be taken as seriously as other addictions. Using even once isn’t okay… so why is losing a pound?

I think that cutting corners signifies a change in mindset. It doesn’t matter if you’re still technically eating a normal amount of calories… if you’re not following your meal plan, you’re restricting. Sure, there are some behaviors that are just habitual… but for the most part, the behaviors are going to follow your thoughts. So, if you’ve been cruising along pretty well in recovery for awhile… and then start occasionally skipping little things… that is significant.

My question now is… is skipping a meal every once in awhile maybe normal? And if it is… does that make it okay for someone with an ED history to skip a meal on occasional? Or, are they never able to have that degree of flexibility because of their past and genetic predisposition?

I’ve been visiting family this past week. On the drive up here (9 hours), my boyfriend decided he wasn’t getting lunch — not hungry. I wasn’t terribly hungry and wans’t about to stop and eat by myself. By the 5th hour of the trip, though, I was ready to have a breakdown (I’m sure low blood sugar was no helping) over my boyfriend skipping lunch. He definitely doesn’t have an eating issue, but I still need the people around me to eat normally ALL the time.

Am I capable of just skipping an occasional meal — assuming that’s normal? I guess missing one meal isn’t a big deal. But what kind of parallel can you draw between than a drug/alcohol addiction? Will I feel the need to restrict again? Will I feel like it’s justifiable because other people skip meals?

The lines between healthy and unhealthy, normal and eating disordered, are all blurred. Is there less of a grey area if you’ve struggled with an eating disorder in the past? Could someone else’s habits be fine for them, but disordered for me?

A different definition of "normal"

While it may have just been a “thought experiment,” it was great to read this post from Laura Collins. As I mentioned in my Dr. Drew entry, I think that eating disorder recovery and long-term maintenance needs to be taken as seriously as other addictions. Using even once isn’t okay… so why is losing a pound?

I think that cutting corners signifies a change in mindset. It doesn’t matter if you’re still technically eating a normal amount of calories… if you’re not following your meal plan, you’re restricting. Sure, there are some behaviors that are just habitual… but for the most part, the behaviors are going to follow your thoughts. So, if you’ve been cruising along pretty well in recovery for awhile… and then start occasionally skipping little things… that is significant.

My question now is… is skipping a meal every once in awhile maybe normal? And if it is… does that make it okay for someone with an ED history to skip a meal on occasional? Or, are they never able to have that degree of flexibility because of their past and genetic predisposition?

I’ve been visiting family this past week. On the drive up here (9 hours), my boyfriend decided he wasn’t getting lunch — not hungry. I wasn’t terribly hungry and wans’t about to stop and eat by myself. By the 5th hour of the trip, though, I was ready to have a breakdown (I’m sure low blood sugar was no helping) over my boyfriend skipping lunch. He definitely doesn’t have an eating issue, but I still need the people around me to eat normally ALL the time.

Am I capable of just skipping an occasional meal — assuming that’s normal? I guess missing one meal isn’t a big deal. But what kind of parallel can you draw between than a drug/alcohol addiction? Will I feel the need to restrict again? Will I feel like it’s justifiable because other people skip meals?

The lines between healthy and unhealthy, normal and eating disordered, are all blurred. Is there less of a grey area if you’ve struggled with an eating disorder in the past? Could someone else’s habits be fine for them, but disordered for me?

Disappointed in NEDA’s “Health Eating 101”

I should have taken the headline as a disclaimer (Healthy Eating 101), but coming from a great eating disorder blog, I have pretty high expectations.

The Eating Disordered Times republished the National Eating Disorders Association’s 10 Tips on promoting healthy relationship with food. These are the guidelines:

1. Eat when you are hungry. Stop eating when you are full.
2. There are no “good” or “bad” foods, so eat lots of different foods, including fruits, vegetables and even sweets sometimes.
3. Eat different types of snacks: sometimes raisins, sometimes cheese, sometimes a cookie, or sometimes carrot sticks or celery dipped in peanut butter.
4. If you are sad, mad or bored, find something to do other than eating.
5. People who exercise and stay active are healthier and better able to do what they want to do, no matter what they weigh.
6. Try to find a sport or activity that you like, then do it.
7. Good health, feeling good about yourself and having fun go hand in hand. Try different hobbies, such as drawing, playing music or making things.
8. Remind yourself that healthy bodies come in all sizes.
9. Some people believe that fat people are bad, sick and out of control, while thin people are good, healthy and in control. This is not true. And it is hurtful.
10. Do not tease people and don’t laugh at other people’s jokes about fat (or thin) people or short (or tall) people.

In the spirit of these guidelines, I would like to add a few of my own:

• Don’t eat too much. Or too little. Always just eat the correct amount.
• Eat blueberries. Some people say they’re a miracle food.
• Don’t read tabloids. Or watch TV. Or do anything else where people may mention food, weight, or calories.
• If you feel like you’re going to binge, don’t.
• Hang a poster of the food pyramid on your bedroom wall. All people with healthy food relationships have one.
• Never stress out, or get upset, or tired, or frustrated, or angry. Just be great all of the time. People in a good mood feel better than people who are in a bad mood.

… do you see my point? How is this list helpful? If I had to come up with some REAL suggestions…

1. Make a point to eat with your family / friends / coworkers — whoever — as often as possible. Eating by yourself isn’t a great idea.
2. Throw in some spontaneity. Eat ice cream for lunch one day, breakfast for dinner another day… Don’t let eating become rigid or mundane.
3. Get a dog. Okay, slight tangent, but I think everyone should have one. And walking the dog is good 😉
4. Don’t get a scale.
5. You have to model the kind of eating that you’re trying to preach. You can’t encourage your kids to not stress over weight when you are crash-dieting yourself.
6. Don’t buy all diet food. Don’t buy all super-healthy foods. Your kids aren’t doing lo-carb! Let them eat goldfish crackers. And teddy grahams.

… and there you have it. Maybe my list isn’t “healthy eating 101,” but it’s at least useful

Tags: eating disorder, NEDA, health eating 101, healthy relationship with food, national eating disorders association, eating disorder recovery, food guidelines

Disappointed in NEDA's "Health Eating 101"

I should have taken the headline as a disclaimer (Healthy Eating 101), but coming from a great eating disorder blog, I have pretty high expectations.

The Eating Disordered Times republished the National Eating Disorders Association’s 10 Tips on promoting healthy relationship with food. These are the guidelines:

1. Eat when you are hungry. Stop eating when you are full.
2. There are no “good” or “bad” foods, so eat lots of different foods, including fruits, vegetables and even sweets sometimes.
3. Eat different types of snacks: sometimes raisins, sometimes cheese, sometimes a cookie, or sometimes carrot sticks or celery dipped in peanut butter.
4. If you are sad, mad or bored, find something to do other than eating.
5. People who exercise and stay active are healthier and better able to do what they want to do, no matter what they weigh.
6. Try to find a sport or activity that you like, then do it.
7. Good health, feeling good about yourself and having fun go hand in hand. Try different hobbies, such as drawing, playing music or making things.
8. Remind yourself that healthy bodies come in all sizes.
9. Some people believe that fat people are bad, sick and out of control, while thin people are good, healthy and in control. This is not true. And it is hurtful.
10. Do not tease people and don’t laugh at other people’s jokes about fat (or thin) people or short (or tall) people.

In the spirit of these guidelines, I would like to add a few of my own:

• Don’t eat too much. Or too little. Always just eat the correct amount.
• Eat blueberries. Some people say they’re a miracle food.
• Don’t read tabloids. Or watch TV. Or do anything else where people may mention food, weight, or calories.
• If you feel like you’re going to binge, don’t.
• Hang a poster of the food pyramid on your bedroom wall. All people with healthy food relationships have one.
• Never stress out, or get upset, or tired, or frustrated, or angry. Just be great all of the time. People in a good mood feel better than people who are in a bad mood.

… do you see my point? How is this list helpful? If I had to come up with some REAL suggestions…

1. Make a point to eat with your family / friends / coworkers — whoever — as often as possible. Eating by yourself isn’t a great idea.
2. Throw in some spontaneity. Eat ice cream for lunch one day, breakfast for dinner another day… Don’t let eating become rigid or mundane.
3. Get a dog. Okay, slight tangent, but I think everyone should have one. And walking the dog is good 😉
4. Don’t get a scale.
5. You have to model the kind of eating that you’re trying to preach. You can’t encourage your kids to not stress over weight when you are crash-dieting yourself.
6. Don’t buy all diet food. Don’t buy all super-healthy foods. Your kids aren’t doing lo-carb! Let them eat goldfish crackers. And teddy grahams.

… and there you have it. Maybe my list isn’t “healthy eating 101,” but it’s at least useful

Tags: eating disorder, NEDA, health eating 101, healthy relationship with food, national eating disorders association, eating disorder recovery, food guidelines