Now you can facebook-stalk your therapist

There have been many blog posts written on facebook and pro-anorexia, however, lately I’ve been thinking a lot about facebook and recovery in general.

Facebook is really unique in that EVERYONE (okay, almost everyone) is on it.  If you’re an eating disorder patient, this means your professionals, the other girls/guys you’re in treatment with, past patients, your school / work friends who may not know about your eating disorder, your family members, etc.  In what other realm do all of these people connect?

For most people, “Facebook stalking” means checking out what that guy you liked in high school is doing now (or some variation of that idea).  However, for anyone in eating disorder treatment, Facebook stalking can mean following up on the girls you were in treatment with or tracking down all of the professionals you’ve worked with.

Luckily, there are privacy settings.  Some professionals even know how to use them.

I was pretty convinced that facebook could be nothing but hurtful to recovery until a girl I used to be in treatment with told me how she and another woman used it to keep in touch.  There’s probably a 20-year age difference between the two girls (for the sake of this example, let’s call the older one Kristy and the younger one Jackie), but neither of them had a lot of support outside of their families.  In the evenings they would talk on facebook (something I haven’t gotten into yet — facebook messenger).  Kristy would see the unhealthy things about dieting that girls would post on Jackie’s wall, with prom coming up, and they’d talk about it.  Jackie saw all the cute pictures of Kristy’s kids.  Basically, it served as an outlet for both of them — something that was missing in their outside world.

Now, you could argue that this isn’t different than email or IM, but I don’t think that IM bridged the age-barrier in the same way that facebook is now.  IM also doesn’t have the public information that facebook has — you can’t see how others interact with someone.

So what do you think about facebook — helpful or harmful to recovery?  Staying in touch with people you were residential with could definitely be triggering (especially if they are not doing well and you have access to their photos), but having the support of people who have been great friends is also valuable.  And I’d love to know — do professionals ever search for their clients on facebook?  Just out of curiosity?  For the record, I have never tried to friend a professional myself — although I won’t lie, I have looked at a couple of profiles.

Diagnosis: “Wannarexia”

“However, there are those who adopt extreme thinness as a lifestyle choice. Such people – aspiring anorexics, or “wannarexics” – are more representative of what you may be seeing in your daughter. Wannarexics imitate the behaviour of those with eating disorders so as to be, for example, a size zero. They are generally underweight but are not anorexic, as their behaviours are not as extreme.”

“Wannarexia comes from wanting to fit in. Girls as young as 5 identify greater weight with lesser popularity; they want to be Barbie. Pre-teens learn that not eating is a sign of a strong will, and size zero is their goal.”

— Times Online

I hate seeing made-up pro-anorexia lingo being used in real publications. “Wannarexia” is not a real disorder. It’s not a real anything.

Wannarexia makes anorexia sound like a choice, and there is plenty of literature out there to prove that it is in fact an illness. Eating disorders are biologically based. They are also not about some quest to be “a size zero.” And, the “they want to be Barbie” comment–seriously? I mean, maybe giving Barbies to little kids does promote an unhealthy models of the female body that sticks with them and influences their perception of “beauty” as they get older… but lots of kids play with Barbies and turn out okay.

If someone is a “wannarexic,” that means they already have a problem. They have disordered eating–at least. Maybe they are “generally underweight but are not anorexic,” just because they haven’t hit that stage in their illness yet. You have to start somewhere, you know… you don’t go from healthy to anorexic overnight.

If you are healthy, you don’t want to be anorexic. Maybe you want to be thin, but you don’t want to starve yourself and you don’t want to be severely underweight.

This pro-anorexia term really minimizes the seriousness of the disorder and invalidates the struggle that individuals go to over come it. In this particular article, they are labeling a woman’s daughter with wannarexia. Poor daughter! If you are struggling with eating, body image, weight, self-esteem, depression, and whatever else, the worst thing that someone could tell you is, “You don’t have a real issue — you just WISH that you had one. You’re a wanna-be.” How invalidating and thoughtless and demeaning.

Diagnosis: "Wannarexia"

“However, there are those who adopt extreme thinness as a lifestyle choice. Such people – aspiring anorexics, or “wannarexics” – are more representative of what you may be seeing in your daughter. Wannarexics imitate the behaviour of those with eating disorders so as to be, for example, a size zero. They are generally underweight but are not anorexic, as their behaviours are not as extreme.”

“Wannarexia comes from wanting to fit in. Girls as young as 5 identify greater weight with lesser popularity; they want to be Barbie. Pre-teens learn that not eating is a sign of a strong will, and size zero is their goal.”

— Times Online

I hate seeing made-up pro-anorexia lingo being used in real publications. “Wannarexia” is not a real disorder. It’s not a real anything.

Wannarexia makes anorexia sound like a choice, and there is plenty of literature out there to prove that it is in fact an illness. Eating disorders are biologically based. They are also not about some quest to be “a size zero.” And, the “they want to be Barbie” comment–seriously? I mean, maybe giving Barbies to little kids does promote an unhealthy models of the female body that sticks with them and influences their perception of “beauty” as they get older… but lots of kids play with Barbies and turn out okay.

If someone is a “wannarexic,” that means they already have a problem. They have disordered eating–at least. Maybe they are “generally underweight but are not anorexic,” just because they haven’t hit that stage in their illness yet. You have to start somewhere, you know… you don’t go from healthy to anorexic overnight.

If you are healthy, you don’t want to be anorexic. Maybe you want to be thin, but you don’t want to starve yourself and you don’t want to be severely underweight.

This pro-anorexia term really minimizes the seriousness of the disorder and invalidates the struggle that individuals go to over come it. In this particular article, they are labeling a woman’s daughter with wannarexia. Poor daughter! If you are struggling with eating, body image, weight, self-esteem, depression, and whatever else, the worst thing that someone could tell you is, “You don’t have a real issue — you just WISH that you had one. You’re a wanna-be.” How invalidating and thoughtless and demeaning.

Thirty-two kilos

I don’t even remember how I ran across this article today: Pro-anorexia websites inspire controversial photo exhibit

A controversial new photo exhibits opens tonight in Washington D.C. that has many people grimacing in disgust. The exhibit features a collection of work by German photographer Ivonne Thein and is titled ‘Thirty-Two Kilos.’ If your math is rusty, thirty-two kilos is roughly seventy pounds. Why is that important? The collection of photographs features extremely emaciated models.

I really think the only unique part about this exhibit is the title (while very sick, it is at least creative).  But as for the rest of it?  I don’t see what’s so special….

1. It’s a “collection of photographs [that] features extremely emaciated models.”  …and that’s new how?  I walked by Victoria Secrets this evening and found the same.
2. “None of the models are truly that thin.  They were digitally manipulated to look anorexic.”  Right, I bet 95% of all magazine photos out there are Photoshopped.  Heck, I know how to Photoshop photos!
3. “…a few pro-anorexia sites are rather fond of Thein’s latest work.”  Well yeah, these are photos of emaciated women!  I swear, you could put up pictures of underweight animals and they would reappear on some pro-ana site.

I guess what irks me a little bit about this exhibit is Thein’s intention to raise awareness about eating disorders and alarm about pro-ana websites.  I feel like putting out another exhibit of sick girls just feeds the disorder and the obsession with thinness.  While maybe she meant for the models to look so ridiculously thin that no one would want to look like that… to someone with a serious eating disorder, he/she is going to look at those photos and find something attractive about them.  I’m sure that she doesn’t think she is glamorizing anorexia… but the only people she is scaring are those who do not have eating disorders.  Plus, she’s perpetuating the stereotype that someone with an eating disorder weighs thirty-two kilos (when most fall into the EDNOS category).

I just hate to see media like this in the name of “eating disorder awareness.”  That might be true… but it’s the wrong kind of awareness.