I have been extra tired lately. VERY extra-tired. I go through spells of this and am always fairly convinced that there’s something wrong with me. It’s not normal for someone to get eight hours of sleep and need one – two naps during the day. I end up having conversations with my fiance like this:
grey: I think that I’m anemic.
fiance: oh?
grey: I have all the symptoms — fatigue, headache, difficulty concentrating, pale skin, leg cramps…
fiance: Funny, those sound like the same symptoms of anorexia.
Then, the next month…
grey: I think I have hypothyroidism.
fiance: You don’t say.
grey: No, really — I have all the symptoms. fatigue, dry hair, pale skin, cold intolerance, muscle cramps, depression, abnormal menstrual cycles….
fiance: Kinda like anorexia.
And again….
grey: I think I have mono.
fiance: Let me guess — lack of energy, loss of appetite and chills.
grey: Exactly!
fiance: You don’t have mono, you have anorexia.
grey: I could have anorexia AND mono.
fiance: Do you have a severe sore throat?
grey: Well…. not YET….
Humph. He is right — these could all be consequences of the eating disorder. For the most part I know this, but whenever I feel overly tired of cold or crappy, I really feel like it must be something else. My eating isn’t particularly worse that day — why should I feel worse?
I think that I forget that how I treat (or mistreat) my body compounds over time. If my eating has been off-track for the past three ways, having a great day today isn’t going to guarantee that I feel okay. And, even on a larger scale, I think that years of disorderedness has taken a toll on my body. My eating disorder is nowhere near as severe as it was back in high school, but I still haven’t been 100% over the years. Now I notice how prone to headaches I am (very prone), how I often have stomach aches, how dysfunctional I am on minimal sleep, etc. I can’t get away with the things that I used to be able to. Because my weight is higher and I’m eating more, this doesn’t make sense to me — clearly something ELSE must be wrong with me (like anemia or hypothyroidism or mono). But… maybe all the years of the eating disorder has taken a toll on my body. Beyond the bone density and menstrual issues, maybe I am just not as resilient as I once was.
However… I am still going to have labs done at some point to rule everything out. You know, just in case…. (and in secret hopes of proving my fiance wrong!)