Do you ever feel like this in therapy? You’re talking about something random that happened in your childhood that you’re nearly POSITIVE has nothing to do with your issues today?
For example….
Before kindergarten I got to try out three different schools — and my parents did not send me to the one that I liked! And then I had to play with this girl who my mom was friends with who I did not get along with. Trauma! Oh, and there was this boy in kindergarten who would always kiss me and I hated it. And I finally told the teacher and she didn’t care and told me to deal with it!
Clearly this is the source of my issues with intimate relationships. I’m afraid of letting people in because they might get TOO close and I might not be able to do anything about it. And this teacher reinforced the idea that my feelings do not matter and that the world doesn’t care about what I’m going through. Being made to play with a girl I didn’t like is one of many examples of my parent’s control issues. Maybe even some enmeshment, since they weren’t letting me choose my own friends.
Now, I’m not saying that the past doesn’t matter. It absolutely helps shape you and plays a role in what you’re dealing with today. And everyone is impacted by things differently…. maybe being kissed by that boy would be traumatic for someone else. I am not trying to minimize these events. I have known professionals who want to just start at the beginning of your life and work through the whole thing… and who think that this is necessary for recovery.
What do you think — how much analysis of the past is necessary for ED recovery?