For the first 5 years of my treatment, I kept a food log. Yes, I have a record of everything that I ate for 5 years… which is now completely useless, but at the time I thought it was a helpful tool. I counted exchanges (rather than calories), drew pictures to illustrate my days, and wrote any feelings that came up during the day. My therapist and nutritionist would review it every week… which was also useful, since I am really bad about brining up things that aren’t bothering me at the moment (meaning, if Tuesday was an awful day but it’s now Friday, and things are okay…. I wouldn’t bring up Tuesday’s events).
Anyway, somewhere in the middle of college my nutritionist decided that eating disorder recovery was all about “intuitive eating,” and that meal plans and food logs were detrimental to treatment
For someone with an eating disorder, eating is not intuitive. Does eating a piece of pizza excuse restricting the rest of the day? I don’t think so, but my nutritionist felt that trying fear foods was more important than anything. I used to joke that I could eat nothing but a plate of spaghetti one day and my nutritionist would probably pat me on the back for eating scary pasta.
It’s been years since I kept a consistent food log, but I think it can be therapeutic because it helps you keep yourself accountable. I recently moved and changed my entire routine… and that’s stressful. Because eating for me is still not 100% intuitive, I rely on a lot of external factors. Queues from the people around me, usual eating patterns, my daily schedule, etc. When all of that is different, it’s hard to keep myself accountable. Plus, writing down all the food & body image thoughts/fears does a lot to lessen anxiety. It’s easier to be objective when everything is sitting on paper in front of me. (and much easier on my boyfriend — he doesn’t need to hear every time I’m having a freak-out about food/weight).
Tags: Anorexia, bulimia, diabetic exchanges, eating disorder, eating disorder recovery, eating disorder treatment, fear foods, food log, intuitive eating, meal plan, mental health, mental illness
Grey Thinking 
August 11, 2008 at 11:31 am
Thanks for bringing this up. My nutritionist hasn’t tried me to do intuitive eating (yet), I think right now that would definitely be dangerous. Even approaching my meal plan right now feels like committing absolute gluttony, if I only ate what and when I wanted to I am absolutely certain my weight would plummet.
That being said, I guess reaching a point where we don’t need those external cues and guidelines is a good recovery goal to work towards. In today’s society, with all the conflicting messages about image, indulgence, etc, I think it’s probably a goal even non-ED sufferers would need to make some effort to achieve.
August 12, 2008 at 5:08 am
I feel like this is really an individual basis sort of thing. I completely agree that it’s difficult to eat intuitively when one has spent so much of life not and that sometimes ‘cues’ from other people and circumstances aren’t enough. But I also feel like keeping track constantly can focus too much on specifics of foods. At least for me it is much more triggering to know I have to write everything down and look at it and know it’s there. It makes me anxious and always feel like on paper it’s too much. I can’t seem to shake that feeling. But I can definitely see the benefits of this as well. I think really, whatever helps you.
August 12, 2008 at 4:13 pm
I don’t think eating is intuitive for most of America … because, if we take our cues from each other and schedules/times of day, etc., we would be cued to some mostly chaotic patterns and behaviors.
In the minority would be those who aren’t dieting, overweight, underweight, diabetic, with high cholesterol or high blood pressure, pregnant, pediatric, training for an athletic event, trying to incorporate some sort of eating philosophy (whole foods, raw diet, veganism, “green”/environmentally correct, organic, fair-trade, etc.) … or just low on money, short on time, long on hours and work demands, dependent on caffeine, possibly nicotine, eating in the car … on the run … and maybe taking at least one prescription medication that compels or precludes some kind of dietary mandate 🙂
If you can be in your wise mind, take care of your triggers, then queue-up with good cues/cue-setters/cue-settings, you might just have it made!
August 13, 2008 at 12:21 am
I found this post very interesting, especially thinking about how this post fits in with your previous posts about it being hard to be around people who are not eating the “ideal” 3 meals, 2 snacks a day. I think that while the goal in eating disorder recovery is to eventually be able to listen to one’s body and eat intuitively, but before that can happen, the individual really does need to rely on outside cues and others for what normal eating really means. Unfortunately, I really don’t think that most of America eats intuitively in this day and age.
Recent studies have shown that keeping a food diary helps people who need to lose weight, for much of the same reason that it always helped me in recovery. Whether you need to lose weight, gain weight, or just “normalize” eating, it keeps you accountable, especially when you also write down emotions and other external factors that influence eating.
August 14, 2008 at 5:20 pm
I feel really lost. I dont know if I have an eatingdisorder or not anymore. Im thin and I think about what I eat…but everyone does. everyone i meet talks about their weight, their diets or their insane training schedules. Some of these people seem to have more problems than I do but still they accuse me for being ill because I am thin. If they wouldnt comment me I would feel much better about myself but at the same time I used to have an eatingdisorder so I cant tell if I am normal or not. Im just so confused and noone can understand me. I still have a certain fear of gaining too much weight, therfore I exercise 3 times a week but I eat all kinds of food…
help
August 27, 2008 at 5:18 pm
intuitive eating is so difficult for me.. but I have tried (unsuccesfully) to eat on my own for four years now. I have my ups and downs but mainly my life is consumed by food. I am so sick of it and I need a good meal plan.. any suggestions?